Just because its hilarious!!!
So in preparation for my first Human Sexuality exam tomorrow, which I should be studying for but whatever, I have come across a section in my text book that deals with the average size of a man's penis.
What is funny is that some analysts have called a man's penis size "The Great Equalizer".
Now the only other thing that has ever been called "The Great Equalizer" is Death, since duh, everyone dies. Doesn't matter if you're King of the freakin World, when Death comes knockin', start droppin'!
But this is how penis size is equal to Death.
A man with a small, unerect penis actually has a 'larger than normal' penis size. He's a 'grower'.
A man with a large, unerect penis is merely a 'shower'. Sorry to the guys who think that just because you have a big package without even trying means you've got a horse cock! You're just average and there's nothing really special about you.
But if you're a 'grower', you're gonna surprise your partner in bed, let me tell you!
That is all, back to sex now...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Vaginas and Pineapples
I just have to love the class 'Human Sexuality'. Especially when it's taught by an awesome professor and it's at ultra-conservative-Baptist-center-of-the-world Baylor University.
So we're reviewing for our first exam. Nothing big or intimidating, just the basics so far like the anatomy and physiology of both males and females, the history of sex, and any sexual disorders.
At the end of class however, Professor Irons brings up all the Anonymous Questions from the past month and begins to answer them. Here are a few...
"Is it safe to swallow sperm?"
Well you better clear that with your partner because let's be serious people, if you have sperm in your mouth, you better not wait until the last minute to call time-out or something because that toally kills the mood.
"Can you get pregnant through anal sex?"
Yes this was a question. That's all I'm saying.
"Is it true that the consumption of certain fruits changes the flavor of a woman's vagina?"
Well that would be interesting. If a woman consumes an entire fruit salad, will her vag juice taste like V8 Splash? Cuz thats really weird in a strange, yet tastey way.
"Can certain fruits cause a miscarriage?"
No really, this was an actual question. Apparently a classmate's brother got married somewhere exotic and both he and his wife were missionaries. The local superstition was that if she ate any pineapple, she wouldn't be able to carry a child. Just imagine, the pineapple is the culprit to natural abortion.
"Is it true that woman living together will have their menstraul cycle synchronize?"
Scarily enough, this is 100% true. God help any man who lives with more than one sister and his mom! Or any male-nursing majors in a female-dominated healthcare field!
I love Sex Ed. It really makes my day, especially when I'm in a bad mood.
That's what she said.
So we're reviewing for our first exam. Nothing big or intimidating, just the basics so far like the anatomy and physiology of both males and females, the history of sex, and any sexual disorders.
At the end of class however, Professor Irons brings up all the Anonymous Questions from the past month and begins to answer them. Here are a few...
"Is it safe to swallow sperm?"
Well you better clear that with your partner because let's be serious people, if you have sperm in your mouth, you better not wait until the last minute to call time-out or something because that toally kills the mood.
"Can you get pregnant through anal sex?"
Yes this was a question. That's all I'm saying.
"Is it true that the consumption of certain fruits changes the flavor of a woman's vagina?"
Well that would be interesting. If a woman consumes an entire fruit salad, will her vag juice taste like V8 Splash? Cuz thats really weird in a strange, yet tastey way.
"Can certain fruits cause a miscarriage?"
No really, this was an actual question. Apparently a classmate's brother got married somewhere exotic and both he and his wife were missionaries. The local superstition was that if she ate any pineapple, she wouldn't be able to carry a child. Just imagine, the pineapple is the culprit to natural abortion.
"Is it true that woman living together will have their menstraul cycle synchronize?"
Scarily enough, this is 100% true. God help any man who lives with more than one sister and his mom! Or any male-nursing majors in a female-dominated healthcare field!
I love Sex Ed. It really makes my day, especially when I'm in a bad mood.
That's what she said.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Innocent Little E-Mail
So here's a funny story...
Back in October I received a informational pamphlet about the Navy Medical Corps. It was pretty interesting, giving me a bunch of info about how the Navy would pay for my school in Nursing and how I would have an awesome job in the Navy traveling abroad and doing healthcare services in foreign and exotic lands.
My interest was piqued, so I called the recruiter. She said that I should come in and get more info from them. Nothing like signing myself, just sitting down and talking about more opportunities that I have. But I couldn't do that because I was still in college in Texas, and the recruiter's offce that I was to go to was back in Maryland. So both the recruiter and I decided that I would call the number again and make an appointment in December when I was home on Christmas Break.
Months passed, I kept the number, and when I went home after finals, I called the Navy once agian. I made an appointment, showed up, and talked about general Navy Officer training, but not what I was interested in, which was the medical field. Telling this to the officer on duty, he had me retake the ASVAB (got an 82 whoop!) and he also gave me the number to the Navy Nursing Corps Officer.
Now this was where the problems started.
The Recruiting Office I went to was in Glenn Burnie, which is about 25 minutes from my house. Not a long drive or crazy route or anything. But I come to find out that the Navy Nursing Corps Office was in Hanover, which is 5 minutes from my house! So somehow I was misdirected as to where I should call. No big right, I was directed to where I should go. Sure I was a little peeved that I was at the wrong office, but are you going to do when all of this is said and done?
So I call the Navy Nursing Corps Officer, a Lt. Salas. I got a generic voicemail, you know, that creepy robot lady who gives out a number, but not a name or anything. Left a voicemail leaving all my contact info and such. Lt. Salas doesn't call back. I try again 2 more times, and still nothing. By this time I'm getting ready to fly back to Texas, since school is getting ready to start up again. Mom promises to figure out why the hell I wasn't getting my phone calls returned, since I'm legitimately interested in the Navy and I'm getting the shaft for it.
A few weeks go by, and I get a call from Mom. She went to a woman called Captain Macri, who is in charge of the Navy Medical Corps in DC. She said that all she did was send out an innocent little e-mail, stating what had happened to me.
Little did both of us know that this 'innocent little e-mail' would start a snowball effect.
Let's just say that when the Navy decides to move, it moves like a charging rhino.
I wake up last Friday morning to hearing my phone going off. I look at it and see a Maryland phone number, but I don't recognize it. My typical response to unknown people calling me is 'If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail'.
Well this was pretty damn important because I got 3 more phone calls, plus 4 voicemails.
I finally get out of bed and check my e-mail before going to class. My eyes bug out when I see that I have 5 e-mails, all from Lieutenants and Captains in the Navy. And at the top of these new e-mails in my Inbox is one from Mom, saying "CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS".
So needless to say, I get dressed and as I walk to class, I call my mom. She then explains to me that that 'innocent little e-mail' spawned a bunch of Navy Officers in the Richmond, DC, Baltimore, and Philadelphia area all freaking out that I wasn't properly handled, and that the Navy had failed me as a service industry. So now I had like 3 people trying to get in contact with me, all trying to 1) Keep my interest in the Navy Nursing Corps, 2) See what it was I wanted to know, and 3) To figure out who messed up with me. Personally I think the officer at the recruiting station in Glenn Burnie was one number off on the phone number to reach Lt. Salas, so I was calling some random office.
But that's all in the past now. My interest is even stronger in joining the Navy after school, and there are a lot of opportunities available to me this summer. Capt. Macri has said that she will be in Dallas and would like to mee tme, which I think would be awesome! Plus she has contacts for shadowing internships this summer, plus a bunch of medical camps as well. I haven't asked if she has any paying internships, but when I see her, I definitely will bring it up!
Gotta love the Navy!
Back in October I received a informational pamphlet about the Navy Medical Corps. It was pretty interesting, giving me a bunch of info about how the Navy would pay for my school in Nursing and how I would have an awesome job in the Navy traveling abroad and doing healthcare services in foreign and exotic lands.
My interest was piqued, so I called the recruiter. She said that I should come in and get more info from them. Nothing like signing myself, just sitting down and talking about more opportunities that I have. But I couldn't do that because I was still in college in Texas, and the recruiter's offce that I was to go to was back in Maryland. So both the recruiter and I decided that I would call the number again and make an appointment in December when I was home on Christmas Break.
Months passed, I kept the number, and when I went home after finals, I called the Navy once agian. I made an appointment, showed up, and talked about general Navy Officer training, but not what I was interested in, which was the medical field. Telling this to the officer on duty, he had me retake the ASVAB (got an 82 whoop!) and he also gave me the number to the Navy Nursing Corps Officer.
Now this was where the problems started.
The Recruiting Office I went to was in Glenn Burnie, which is about 25 minutes from my house. Not a long drive or crazy route or anything. But I come to find out that the Navy Nursing Corps Office was in Hanover, which is 5 minutes from my house! So somehow I was misdirected as to where I should call. No big right, I was directed to where I should go. Sure I was a little peeved that I was at the wrong office, but are you going to do when all of this is said and done?
So I call the Navy Nursing Corps Officer, a Lt. Salas. I got a generic voicemail, you know, that creepy robot lady who gives out a number, but not a name or anything. Left a voicemail leaving all my contact info and such. Lt. Salas doesn't call back. I try again 2 more times, and still nothing. By this time I'm getting ready to fly back to Texas, since school is getting ready to start up again. Mom promises to figure out why the hell I wasn't getting my phone calls returned, since I'm legitimately interested in the Navy and I'm getting the shaft for it.
A few weeks go by, and I get a call from Mom. She went to a woman called Captain Macri, who is in charge of the Navy Medical Corps in DC. She said that all she did was send out an innocent little e-mail, stating what had happened to me.
Little did both of us know that this 'innocent little e-mail' would start a snowball effect.
Let's just say that when the Navy decides to move, it moves like a charging rhino.
I wake up last Friday morning to hearing my phone going off. I look at it and see a Maryland phone number, but I don't recognize it. My typical response to unknown people calling me is 'If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail'.
Well this was pretty damn important because I got 3 more phone calls, plus 4 voicemails.
I finally get out of bed and check my e-mail before going to class. My eyes bug out when I see that I have 5 e-mails, all from Lieutenants and Captains in the Navy. And at the top of these new e-mails in my Inbox is one from Mom, saying "CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS".
So needless to say, I get dressed and as I walk to class, I call my mom. She then explains to me that that 'innocent little e-mail' spawned a bunch of Navy Officers in the Richmond, DC, Baltimore, and Philadelphia area all freaking out that I wasn't properly handled, and that the Navy had failed me as a service industry. So now I had like 3 people trying to get in contact with me, all trying to 1) Keep my interest in the Navy Nursing Corps, 2) See what it was I wanted to know, and 3) To figure out who messed up with me. Personally I think the officer at the recruiting station in Glenn Burnie was one number off on the phone number to reach Lt. Salas, so I was calling some random office.
But that's all in the past now. My interest is even stronger in joining the Navy after school, and there are a lot of opportunities available to me this summer. Capt. Macri has said that she will be in Dallas and would like to mee tme, which I think would be awesome! Plus she has contacts for shadowing internships this summer, plus a bunch of medical camps as well. I haven't asked if she has any paying internships, but when I see her, I definitely will bring it up!
Gotta love the Navy!
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