So Winter Premier at Baylor University.
Roll out the street lamp post flags, comb and brush the bears, fire up the grills for the cafeterias, put more BU apparel on the clothes rack at the bookstore, and prop up the Greek info tables.
Only during a Premier, does Baylor allow us normal students to get some damn good food. Like a mountain of awesome fruit, which magically appears for the parents of prospective students. You can bet your sorry ass that I was there, knocking aside high school brats to get me some grub! Here's and interesting conversation I had as well as I was stocking up:
Random-Girl-Who-Knows-Whats-Really-Going-On: "Where's all the food during the normal year?"
Me-In-Total-Agreement: "I know right?"
Only during a Premier do you see people walk into the Baylor Bookstore in normal everyday clothes only to exit out in full university regalia. I mean, really, its like an army of mannequins had just marched from the near department store to suddenly represent that Good Old Baylor. Here's another quote:
Freshman-Friend-Who-Also-Knows-Whats-Going-On: "It's really funny watching the parents buy all this Baylor clothes and deck themselves out."
Me-In-Total-Agreement: "They're like a bunch of clones with credit cards"
Welcome to Baylor Ladies and Gentlemen. Leave your soul at the door.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sterotypical Baylor Brats
Hello Baylor.
Hello you frat boys, wearing your tight polos, your fraternity's letters, your heavily drenched bodies with Axe body spray.
Hello you sorority girls, with your cleavage-showing shirts, your Greek windbreakers, your perfectly straight blond hair.
Hello you Bible humping Baptists, who claim you want to 'save my soul' when I see you sin just like me everyday. Hypocrites.
Hello you school administration, who drains my wallet dry and wastes money on sprinklers that go off when it rains.
Hello you athletes, with your huge grey sweats, or your jerseys, or your 'official' green Baylor polos.
Hello you snobby Pre-Med jerks, who cry when you get a B+ and whine about the injustice of the grading system.
Hello you spoiled Business majors, who have so many opportunities for summer internships while the rest of us fight for one.
Hello you annoying campus squirrels, who are way too comfortable here. I say we let the Baylor Hunting Club go on Open Season. Like NOW.
Hello you stupid new bell system. Are we really back in high school?
Hello you workout obsessing freaks, with your huge muscles and tight bodies. Stop pumping the 'roids and get a real hobby, like eating ice cream and not protein bars when you watch a movie.
Hello you black people, who find the need to be excessively loud in and near the SUB around lunch time.
Hello you asian people, who swarm the Atrium at the BSB and speak really really fast in Cantonese.
Hello you non-Greek fraternities and sororities. Really, who are you trying to fool?
Hello you Honors and BIC and Great Text people. Stop being so freakin smart. Some of us need jobs after college too.
Hello you catalogue clones, who dress completely in Hollister, Aeropostal, A&F, or American Eagle. A little varity wouldn't kill you.
Hello sluts, who claim chastity when you wear ass-hugging shorts with the words 'sexy', or 'hotty' on them.
Hello manwhores, who when dressed in a suit act the part of gentleman, but put a beer in their hand and they brag about the chick they banged last weekend.
Hello BSB TA's, who can't seem to grasp the fact that we need to hear ENGLISH to understand you.
Hello professors, who don't understand that we just don't have you for a class, but like 6 others like you. So stop giving us so much homework.
Hello Wannabe-Cowboys, with your oh-so-perfectly scuffed bootes, tight jeans, big belt buckle, and matching cowboy hat. Such tools...
Hello you drivers with your unnecessarily-huge trucks that serve no real purpose on this campus other than to take up two spots in the parking garage and to show off just how insecure you are about yourself.
Hello Baylor Bears.
.....
Actually I have no problem with you. Sic 'Em.
Hello you frat boys, wearing your tight polos, your fraternity's letters, your heavily drenched bodies with Axe body spray.
Hello you sorority girls, with your cleavage-showing shirts, your Greek windbreakers, your perfectly straight blond hair.
Hello you Bible humping Baptists, who claim you want to 'save my soul' when I see you sin just like me everyday. Hypocrites.
Hello you school administration, who drains my wallet dry and wastes money on sprinklers that go off when it rains.
Hello you athletes, with your huge grey sweats, or your jerseys, or your 'official' green Baylor polos.
Hello you snobby Pre-Med jerks, who cry when you get a B+ and whine about the injustice of the grading system.
Hello you spoiled Business majors, who have so many opportunities for summer internships while the rest of us fight for one.
Hello you annoying campus squirrels, who are way too comfortable here. I say we let the Baylor Hunting Club go on Open Season. Like NOW.
Hello you stupid new bell system. Are we really back in high school?
Hello you workout obsessing freaks, with your huge muscles and tight bodies. Stop pumping the 'roids and get a real hobby, like eating ice cream and not protein bars when you watch a movie.
Hello you black people, who find the need to be excessively loud in and near the SUB around lunch time.
Hello you asian people, who swarm the Atrium at the BSB and speak really really fast in Cantonese.
Hello you non-Greek fraternities and sororities. Really, who are you trying to fool?
Hello you Honors and BIC and Great Text people. Stop being so freakin smart. Some of us need jobs after college too.
Hello you catalogue clones, who dress completely in Hollister, Aeropostal, A&F, or American Eagle. A little varity wouldn't kill you.
Hello sluts, who claim chastity when you wear ass-hugging shorts with the words 'sexy', or 'hotty' on them.
Hello manwhores, who when dressed in a suit act the part of gentleman, but put a beer in their hand and they brag about the chick they banged last weekend.
Hello BSB TA's, who can't seem to grasp the fact that we need to hear ENGLISH to understand you.
Hello professors, who don't understand that we just don't have you for a class, but like 6 others like you. So stop giving us so much homework.
Hello Wannabe-Cowboys, with your oh-so-perfectly scuffed bootes, tight jeans, big belt buckle, and matching cowboy hat. Such tools...
Hello you drivers with your unnecessarily-huge trucks that serve no real purpose on this campus other than to take up two spots in the parking garage and to show off just how insecure you are about yourself.
Hello Baylor Bears.
.....
Actually I have no problem with you. Sic 'Em.
Faces of Faith
So I went home for Christmas Break. 2 weeks of bliss and laziness.
Yeah my sister was there, and she gave me high blood pressure.
And yes, I wanted to strangle her and hide her body in the Chesapeake Bay.
But that didn't happen.
Yet.
What did happen though was something truly amazing in my opinion.
I went to my home church for Sunday Mass, said hi to Father Bill yadda yadda. I was about to enter the Chapel when I saw Ms. Michelle.
Now Ms. Michelle, when I left for Baylor summer school, was fat. Like, Molly Weasely fat. Red hair, white skin, the works. She even had really bad crooked teeth that were out of character for the Harry Potter woman, but thats beside the point. Whta is the main point is that when I came home for the winter break, she had literally lost like 100 pounds.
It was like seeing the female version of Subway Jared or something. I was thrown for a complete loop! She looked totally different and in a good way too! She still had the crooked teeth, but it wasn't what I was shocked about. The apparel she use to wear were large dresses that would hang off her rather large hips. Now she was wearing tight jeans that accented her figure. Before she wore large blouses that gave a sense of cover for her bosom. Now she wore a type of spandex thingy that really showed off her chest and lack of adipose tissue.
I'm not hating on Ms. Michelle, in case some of you are wondering.
But I'm just saying that despite the radical physical changes this woman went through, she still had the same bubbly and positive attitude and strong sense of religious conviction. Ms. Michelle has always been someone that has inspired me with her faith; she leads the church's RCIA team, always has something kind to say, and displays her beliefs not by words, but by action. She is truly a woman of God.
So maybe when I go back home for the summer, she'll have straight teeth and some serious blingbling.
Yeah my sister was there, and she gave me high blood pressure.
And yes, I wanted to strangle her and hide her body in the Chesapeake Bay.
But that didn't happen.
Yet.
What did happen though was something truly amazing in my opinion.
I went to my home church for Sunday Mass, said hi to Father Bill yadda yadda. I was about to enter the Chapel when I saw Ms. Michelle.
Now Ms. Michelle, when I left for Baylor summer school, was fat. Like, Molly Weasely fat. Red hair, white skin, the works. She even had really bad crooked teeth that were out of character for the Harry Potter woman, but thats beside the point. Whta is the main point is that when I came home for the winter break, she had literally lost like 100 pounds.
It was like seeing the female version of Subway Jared or something. I was thrown for a complete loop! She looked totally different and in a good way too! She still had the crooked teeth, but it wasn't what I was shocked about. The apparel she use to wear were large dresses that would hang off her rather large hips. Now she was wearing tight jeans that accented her figure. Before she wore large blouses that gave a sense of cover for her bosom. Now she wore a type of spandex thingy that really showed off her chest and lack of adipose tissue.
I'm not hating on Ms. Michelle, in case some of you are wondering.
But I'm just saying that despite the radical physical changes this woman went through, she still had the same bubbly and positive attitude and strong sense of religious conviction. Ms. Michelle has always been someone that has inspired me with her faith; she leads the church's RCIA team, always has something kind to say, and displays her beliefs not by words, but by action. She is truly a woman of God.
So maybe when I go back home for the summer, she'll have straight teeth and some serious blingbling.
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