Sterotypical Baylor Brats

Hello Baylor.

Hello you frat boys, wearing your tight polos, your fraternity's letters, your heavily drenched bodies with Axe body spray.

Hello you sorority girls, with your cleavage-showing shirts, your Greek windbreakers, your perfectly straight blond hair.

Hello you Bible humping Baptists, who claim you want to 'save my soul' when I see you sin just like me everyday. Hypocrites.

Hello you school administration, who drains my wallet dry and wastes money on sprinklers that go off when it rains.

Hello you athletes, with your huge grey sweats, or your jerseys, or your 'official' green Baylor polos.

Hello you snobby Pre-Med jerks, who cry when you get a B+ and whine about the injustice of the grading system.

Hello you spoiled Business majors, who have so many opportunities for summer internships while the rest of us fight for one.

Hello you annoying campus squirrels, who are way too comfortable here. I say we let the Baylor Hunting Club go on Open Season. Like NOW.

Hello you stupid new bell system. Are we really back in high school?

Hello you workout obsessing freaks, with your huge muscles and tight bodies. Stop pumping the 'roids and get a real hobby, like eating ice cream and not protein bars when you watch a movie.

Hello you black people, who find the need to be excessively loud in and near the SUB around lunch time.

Hello you asian people, who swarm the Atrium at the BSB and speak really really fast in Cantonese.

Hello you non-Greek fraternities and sororities. Really, who are you trying to fool?

Hello you Honors and BIC and Great Text people. Stop being so freakin smart. Some of us need jobs after college too.

Hello you catalogue clones, who dress completely in Hollister, Aeropostal, A&F, or American Eagle. A little varity wouldn't kill you.

Hello sluts, who claim chastity when you wear ass-hugging shorts with the words 'sexy', or 'hotty' on them.

Hello manwhores, who when dressed in a suit act the part of gentleman, but put a beer in their hand and they brag about the chick they banged last weekend.

Hello BSB TA's, who can't seem to grasp the fact that we need to hear ENGLISH to understand you.

Hello professors, who don't understand that we just don't have you for a class, but like 6 others like you. So stop giving us so much homework.

Hello Wannabe-Cowboys, with your oh-so-perfectly scuffed bootes, tight jeans, big belt buckle, and matching cowboy hat. Such tools...

Hello you drivers with your unnecessarily-huge trucks that serve no real purpose on this campus other than to take up two spots in the parking garage and to show off just how insecure you are about yourself.

Hello Baylor Bears.
.....
Actually I have no problem with you. Sic 'Em.